Healing is not a competition in any way, shape or form. You do not need to be in any hurry because someone else who survived the same trauma as you has healed faster than you. Your trauma journey is individual to you.
Actually healing, actually recovering, actually getting better isn’t going to be the most exciting thing in your life.
I can tell you one thing—healing feels like hell. But feeling like you’re in the middle of a hurricane is better than dragging yourself through the overcast every day for years on end.
You are the direct result of approximately 4 billion years of unbroken lineage all the way from single celled organisms. Remember this when you feel invalid. It took 4 billion years to make you for this very moment. Your existence has meaning.
This is a time of starting over. But this time you are the writer. You are holding the pen. You are choosing your life.
The narrative of the broken person starts to be replaced, one word at a time. Your pain isn’t the first thing you share. Your tragedy is not the most exceptional thing about you anymore. Shared misery is not the means over which you bond.
Healing is a choice. Time don’t always heal, acceptance does.
Sadness is okay. Anger is okay. Despair is okay. Loneliness is okay. Stop trying to suppress “bad” feelings and just let them do their thing. They exist for a reason.
Survivors of abuse, assault or any other heinous crime are often blamed and shamed for being victims in the first place – and it’s no surprise that they struggle with self-blame in the aftermath.
Your body is not trying to torture you, I swear. Your body simply learned bad things happen and is trying, through triggers, to protect and keep you alert so a trauma doesn’t reoccur.