“Newborn foreskins contain human growth factors that make them ideal for anti-wrinkle skin creams.”

1. You and your friends always hangout at the same places. You’re either at that one coffee shop, that one bar, or your apartment, and you’re there so frequently that you basically have your own seating arrangements.

It seems that most episodes of Seinfeld have somewhere between 18 and 22 scenes. I know because I watched six episodes and counted – I actually took detailed notes on each.

1. The beach.

Lots of One Direction fans are feeling quite “verklempt” today.

When everything was the worst, but at least Larry understood you.

Irony posits two realms: the eternal, or divine, and the temporal, mortal, physical. We live in this world with its laws and constraints, its culture and bodies.

Happy birthday, you old fart.

I’m the type of person that will avoid conflict, confrontation, and basically, any form of criticism at all costs.

I’m gonna go out. No, I’m not. I should, though. Ugh, but I don’t want to.