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As if two numbers could show you all I’ve done in four years. I want to be more than a number. I want a chance to show you that I’m a person. A person with ideas and thoughts and feelings. I can be an asset to your school. You just don’t know it yet.
Yes, this is inspired by the SAT analogies segment from Late Night with Conan O’Brien. Yes, I’m aware that the SATs no longer have analogies. Yes, I remember the episode of Full House where D.J. takes the SATs. Yes, according to Saved by the Bell, Zack Morris got a 1502 on his SATs. No, that is not possible.
Anyway, I was never a great test taker, but after a month in this program, I was totally baffled by any normal school thing. I remember taking the PSATs and being all “What’s this? A PENCIL? You want me to do MATH PROBLEMS with this PENCIL? You don’t want me to write a poem with the ash of a cigarette and present it while dressed like Abby Hoffman?