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Part of the reason that Robsten doesn’t matter to me, however, is that I am not a young woman today, and I’m glad that I’m not.

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A man punched his girlfriend in the face after spotting a photo of an unknown man on her cellphone — which turned out to be a picture of Mitt Romney. Newt Gingrich has since released a statement saying she wasn’t his girlfriend.

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Beyond there being a general lack of salacious celebrity fodder today, I’ve lost interest in the drama simply because I stopped caring. When I found out that Kristen Stewart had cheated on Robert Pattinson, my knee-jerk response was, “So?” I mean, who gives a crap what Kristen Stewart puts in her mouth, unless it’s a joint—in which case, hey girl hey!

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Bristol Palin is defending her 3-year-old son, Tripp, saying that while he did say the f-word during an episode of her reality show, it wasn’t homophobic. Because they aren’t scared of any queers.