“

April Ludgate. On this entire planet, there is truly no other person who is like you. You forge your own unique path, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. People are drawn to you because you’re fearless about being who you are, no matter how unconventional it is. You think nothing is lamer than people who do the same thing everyone else is doing.

“

Most of the time, you just want people to leave you alone.

“

If your hook-up is up for some morning grub, then there’s a large chance that person likes you, or at least likes you enough to take some time out of the day to watch you devour a stack of blueberry pancakes.

“

Over the years, we’ve changed just as much as the girl who came to college from a nice, rural town. And while she’s now much more fun to look at, we’re all a bit wimpier.

“

He’d insist on summing up our sex in oversimplified bullet points written in biased language, and then I’d be like, “I’d like to have an orgasm, too, Bill,” and he would yell over me.

“

When you feel someone is getting too comfortable, you purposefully call them by the wrong first name.

“

There’s cute nerd Ben Wyatt, grumpy woodsman Ron Swanson and high-energy health nut Chris Traeger.

“

Frustrated by the state of his steak, Ron tells a blank-faced restaurant employee to bring him all of the bacon and eggs the establishment has. Then, he delivers the most sincere, Ron Swanson-y line of all.