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Print out the sigil of the demon you are trying to summon and memorize its shape. You should be able to close your eyes and visualize it.

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“If at any point during the ritual you faint, pass out, or otherwise lose consciousness, you will likely wake up in your own home. However, be sure to carefully examine your surroundings upon waking—the ‘home’ to which you have been returned may not be the one you left when you first set out to attempt this ritual.”

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If your apartment is ugly or you hate your office, of course you’re going to want to stay in bed. No one wants to spend time in an environment that doesn’t make them happy.

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Respect your limitations.

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The females basically handle the workload, taking the initiative once they’ve decided whom they want to mate with.

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I haven’t been able to determine what came first: the aversion to germs or the aversion to food.

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I won’t say that I present the picture of mental health or anything, but most people would be surprised to find out I harbor a habit that hints at deep insanity.

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Sometimes you get sucked in. Sometimes it catches you when you’re driving or chopping up vegetables or doing something that shouldn’t feel automatic but is and suddenly you’re washing your hands or signing a Cross or repeating “It’s not true, it’s not true, it’s not true” over and over and over again until your hands are raw and your arm is sore and your voice is hoarse and you can’t stop…

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Dim lights + a lot of alcohol + bar etiquette + being in college = a lot of pretty funny things.

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The best thing about being a young adult right now is that you, more than any previous generation, have the freedom and the resources to create your own religion. So, let’s get started.