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For me, sexual intimacy is a refuge from the real world. After knowing each other 15 years, and being lovers since 1972 – despite the long gaps – Ronna and I are attuned to each other. Does that mean we love each other, or do married couples who hate each other also have fantastic sex because they know each other so well?

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If you’re having trouble in your relationships as a “Hero,” it’s because you’re attracting people who need help, not who want to be loved.

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Talking about the issue you’re facing is like taking a plunger to the toilet. It releases all of the built up emotional tension.

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I say that I’m emotionally damaged. I joke that the part of my brain that releases oxytocin has gone on a permanent sabbatical. I nod along when people tote the, “You just haven’t met the right person” banner while I silently disagree.

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My entire existence has now revolved around him for over five years.

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You deserve someone better than me because I will never be able to love you. You know this. I know this. You knew it the second you met me. You knew the score, you knew the only dynamic that could work between us, and you agreed to be the one who’s loved less. You. Not me.

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Love can be a giant short bus, y’all! It can cause otherwise smart, capable people to become deaf and blind to any and flaws. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen intelligent strong people be reduced to a 60 IQ just because they’re on that falling in love tip.

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They seem like they’re into you — on even days, most holidays and when the moon is waning — but on the odd, typical and waxing days, they’re nowhere to be found. Elusive. Vague. Slightly mysterious. Generally attractive. You’d say they’re totally leading you on, except that would be admitting they’re doing anything at all.

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Why would anyone in a legitimate relationship be like, “Oh my god! Everything is so confusing between us and we must let Facebook know! Otherwise I would feel like we were living a lie. People deserve to know that our love is complicated. We must alert them to this new development!”

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I think the “I love you” is wildly important, which is why the idea of it as a pawn in the battle of who holds the cards in the relationship rubbed me the wrong way. At first…