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Those possessing any other physical or intangible traits of said female’s most recent ex-boyfriend need not apply, i.e. callused hands, wandering eyes, shotgun laugh, uncanny ability to make a four-course meal out of whatever happens to be in the cupboard.
On my way home, I noticed I was dripping beads of tan and had to be at my cousins wedding in less than an hour. On the remainder of the drive, I traveled with my head out of the window, (an appropriate action for a dog, but very dangerous for a person.) I kept reminding myself, “pain is beauty” or in this case, a possible decapitation.