Basically, we trust this forum and its users with our faces. No questions asked.
“At one point, Christopher Columbus fed a live child sex slave to dogs.”
“You consistently set low expectations and fail to achieve them.”
“I listened to her screaming as she burned alive while the witness wailed and tried to pull her from the window. She did not survive.”
“A fire starts in the Sodder house, and the parents and 4 of the 9 children there get out. The other 5 are never seen again, and the parents suspect that they were alive and had been taken somewhere else, because no bones or other human remains were found in the ashes.”
Please take my computer away from me immediately.
When my son was a baby, a guy leaned in and whispered, “I can smell your milk.”
“Little Talks by Monsters And Men is about an elderly lady who recently lost her husband and is losing her mind while waiting to die so she can be with him again.”
“I stopped using face wash in July. I started using microfiber cleansing cloths. GAME CHANGER.”
“When I was a girl I went to get pop tarts and then the car crashed and burned and I died.”