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I’ve just come out of the shower after returning from the health club. My lenses are in the machine. I’m naked, lying on fresh sheets, Brahms is on the radio, and I feel surprisingly good. Workouts make me feel better mentally even if I’m not developing gorgeous peaks on my biceps or huge pecs.

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Will be updated throughout the day.

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I remember something Helen once told me: “Most people don’t break up because they stop loving the other person. They break up because they can’t get along.”

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It was very difficult, at the very least.

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It’s like a dog on a really long leash that doesn’t realize he’s on a leash, and so he’s chasing his dreams (a squirrel) at top speed, ears flopping, tongue flailing, tail wagging, and then… YANK. The end of the leash.

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So, this is a bummer for us (though possibly more of a bummer for people hoping to retire right now.) The good news? Things are looking up.

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A drink so sour that after you sip it, your face twists and contorts into the exact same expression I get when I turn on the legitimate news and am confronted with an update on the Kristen Stewart Robert Pattinson situation.

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I am not writing to decry these trends or request a return to a Mad-Men-era of the domination of machismo (the progress that women have made, even in the past 20 years, has been incredible and I only hope that it continues). Rather, I am writing to warn of the social costs that we could be facing as men begin to slip further and further behind.

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I never imagined while playing house as a child that I’d find myself divorced after ten years of a marriage in which my role was one of the primary earner. That my wedded bliss would in reality be a liability that left me emotionally and financially drained.

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Once you’ve made a connection, invite that special someone out by saying, “I’m going to be doing [whatever], if you wanna come.” Not only does this make you a subtle wordsmith (you cad) and transform cheapskate date locales into something seemingly spontaneous, but also the implication that you were going to spend the day doing [whatever] anyway means you’re not responsible for paying for your date if they want to tag along.