Have you ever wanted to orgasm in the middle of the dance floor? What about in the bathroom stall of a five-star restaurant? Or on the train ride home? Then you’re going to want to read this novel (preferably while you’re beneath the sheets).
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So do the things you’ve always dreamed of doing, and feel as alive as you think you need to feel, but never stop reading. Because there are things you can learn from the pages of a book that will teach you so much more tan you will ever learn from real life.
That’s not to mention the community one finds among fellow readers. Even if you like Fitzgerald and another prefers Hemingway, you can still argue ideas and themes with thoughtful criticism, at a length and with depth that no other form of entertainment affords.
The letters start to swim before your eyes, your lids begin to droop. This is it! Quick, turn off the lights, lie in bed. Immediately, you’re awake again. But that’s just momentary, from moving, right? Stick it out. Lie there. Count the seconds, then the minutes. Turn the pillow over. Fluff the duvet. Too hot, too cold. Throw the duvet off the bed. Retrieve it. Turn over. Lie on your front, back, side. Turn round so that your feet are where your head used to be.