“

Pretty Facebook Girls, you are the unicorns of the social media world. Your life is a blur of candid photos that somehow come out looking like something that would win a week’s competition on America’s Next Top Model, and other girls subtly remarking on how cripplingly jealous they are of you in comments that are meant to look joking.

“

But, unlike what Elmo, Oprah, and the Tumblr community would have you believe, we’re not all beautiful. Sure, we’re all “beautiful” in the abstract sense of the word, but in the scientific-facial-symmetry and babies-smile-at-pictures-of-you-in-weird-studies way, we’re not all equally good looking.

“

All the pretty girls went to the same sleepovers and told the same secrets and wore the same make up. They talked about the cute boys in their grade, the boys they knew could be theirs if they wanted them. They were starting to understand what having a beautiful face meant and they were starting to use it in the way society taught them.