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You’re not special because you make art.

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I hate hipsters and their overbearing, tiresome ways. Or at least, I really used to. Let me explain.

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…Why? Because JAMES FRANCO, that’s why.

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Regularly discussing all the things they want to do before they get with someone, such as travel or write a novel, because — as we all know — the freedom to enjoy oneself and explore life withers and dies the second you change that Facebook profile to “In A Relationship.”

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3. Memorize the first fifty digits of pi. Recite them at every given opportunity.

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“Over-committed to irony, under-committed to relevance.” Kate, 21

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Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you should already know that Greek yogurt is the most sacred and treasured of yogurts.

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As the colder months are upon us, there are two inevitabilities that every socialite must encounter; gratuitous feasts that leave you paralyzed for the rest of the day, and shopping.

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George Clinton discovered LSD and unto the snobs, he bestowed interplanetary funk.

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That’s right: for an unlimited time so long as the English language exists, YOU can indulge in every verbose fantasy imaginable! Flaunt your vocabulary! Use adverbs unendingly! Overwrite EVERY SINGLE paragraph!