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Hello self-doubt

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Control. Seems to be everyone wants it, but when you have it, it renders us debilitated.

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The worst will be so much worse than you can imagine.

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You will lose a girl with anxiety by taking too long to answer her texts, even though you know she freaks out when you go missing for hours.

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Please don’t think I’m not trying.

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Fuck anxiety. Fuck the tears. Fuck the helplessness.

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My body,
From crashing
and lifting
all these burdens,
all this heaviness,
all this pain.

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You told her it wasn’t her fault. You told her it was all you. But how can she believe that now? 

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When I was stoned, I Googled anxiety and the Internet did that thing where it said yes, yes, you have anxiety. I didn’t believe the Internet.

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God I pray that you take my pounding heart, my clammy hands, my brain that’s continually over-thinking and give me peace.