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Believe it or not, most girls aren’t looking for anything complicated. They are only looking for someone who will listen to what they have to say in between bites of pizza. Someone who will treat them like a best friend and a forever person.

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I said “no.” I did what I was always told I was supposed to do. I clearly and emphatically told him to stop. But he ignored me.

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“That little gasp she makes the first time you slip it in.”

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Learn all 360 degrees of every job you have, no matter how low. That knowledge will compound over the years even if it seems trivial or unimportant when you learn it.

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“my twitter has been ruined ill never come back from this lmao.”

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Mozzarella! Parmesan! Fontina! This is a threesome you fully support.

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If you like Hawaiian pizza you can get the f*ck off my couch.

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Pisces: Any pizza will do, only they’d like there’s with some wine (and by ‘some’ they mean just leave the key to the wine cellar).

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Sorry internet, but I don’t see the big hoo-har about Beyoncé.

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When I say I don’t like pizza, I don’t mean I don’t like pizza. I mean I don’t like commitment.