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1. When you think about Pikachu, I want you to envision a potato. I know that sounds weird but just do it. Have it in your head? Now draw a potato-like blob. 2.

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I spent most of 1999 kicking the asses of teenage boys and grown men in Pokemon, the official trading card game.

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From Pikachu burgers to Pikachu pancakes, this is a true Pikachu fan’s dream come true.

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2. The animators thought Brock was racist, so they replaced him with Tracey for the Orange Islands season.

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Sure, I had never kissed a girl yet, but if you needed to know what level Jynx learns “Ice Punch” (level 31, Red/Blue/Yellow), I had you covered.

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I had the drunken pleasure of imagining myself interviewing random Pokemon about living in Pokeballs — because, let’s be honest, we’ve all wondered about what it’s like to be in a Pokeball.

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3. He does not eat cats.