“

Can I be your first mistake of the year?

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Had to change out of my clothes and into my bathing suit in a park and asked my friend if he’d seen my boobs. “No, but could we fix that?” Yeah. We fixed that.

“

“I’d take you to the movies but they don’t let snacks in.”

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Do you like whales? Because we can go hump back at my place. 

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INTJ: You look familiar, didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.

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Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.

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Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

“

It’s so basic and so obvious that when you do it with a smile, it comes off as playful. And it’s all about being open, honest, and playful. 

“

“‘I would suck your dad’s d*ck just to get a taste of the recipe.’ What do you say to that????”

“

I’m gonna steal some of these.