“

That escalated quickly.

“

From behind I noticed her hot pink dress, which ends barely low enough to cover up her firm, well-shaped ass. Her blonde hair is wild like that of an 80’s glam-rock video whore.

“

“Don’t worry, I like curvy girls.”

“

I learned that it’s always startling if any stranger tries to talk to you in a bank, but exceedingly more startling if they whisper “nice ass…” It’s like, do you want my number? My pin? Because it’s unclear.

“

For all the feminist talk about blowing up gender roles, random chicks at bars prefer to stick to tradition. They want the man to be dominant.

“

Do not actually do anything that makes it seem like you’re hitting on them.

“

Yo. You’re hot. That really you in those pics? Hope you not Catfishin’ me.”

“

I’m not saying that guys can’t get laid, just that it’s much easier for women, probably on account of the boobs and the lovely soft skin and such.