“

All I kept thinking was how fast can I get back to my car and get out of this awkward arm lock thing we had going on. I hated it.

“

I like my peace, I like my quiet, I like my sanity.

“

By now, Zumper will have asked me if I’m a robot because I’m speeding through listings at a suspect rate. I sure do feel like a robot, I want to say.

“

I mourn the body in the pictures inside the frames on my dresser from seven years ago. From nine. From ten. From twelve. From thirteen.

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I call my mother and hope she isn’t disappointed. 

“

I am in a different city, and it’s fine, but I wonder if it’s bad that I’m always just thinking about the other one.

“

I don’t think I found myself, but I do think I learned a lot about my passions.

“

You remember the night well. You still wear that black dress, but you broke those sandals the following summer when you traveled to Europe during your existential crisis. You are constantly doing stupid things to cover up how uncomfortable you are.

“

I had never experienced grief like this – so raw and so deep. It completely consumed me. I wanted to just get through it, and perhaps heal from it unscarred like a bump or a bruise. What would losing the woman who gave birth to me do to my life? Who would I become?

“

Even the darkest winter days can still have light in them, light that shines from the center of my home. A light that will always be there to guide me back home.