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I want to at least attempt to look like I belong here — like, ohhh, yeah, another Netflix premiere? I am at one of these things at least four times a month.

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14. Have a cool accent that’s different from your own. Nothing like a hot guy from a foreign land!

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Don’t get overwhelmed—just be a sponge.

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Parties can be a pretty interesting experience for you, because while you’re standing there having a conversation with someone, you’re actually trying to listen to the conversation that’s going on right next to you.

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Everyone works together to create the daily chaos that fuels a city, not unlike the rapid industrialization that first bred the pioneering flâneurs in the mid-19th-century.

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Shake the hangover out of your hair, pour that latte straight into your eyeballs, because you have to keep up, and no, you don’t have a choice.