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Grindr is such a fun place!

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You multitask hard in every single one of the same hours you and Beyonce have in a day.

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1. Cougars at a hotel resort in Anguilla

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“Some like to be humiliated and then have pictures of them doing these tasks posted online.”

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Here’s what I’m thinking and feeling, before, after, and during my workout, presented to you in Patrick Bateman/’American Psycho’ GIF form.

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You know how you’re always supposed to “sleep on it”, take a timeout, think about everything first before you burst into an adult tantrum-esque rant? Well…

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We’d seen this movie before; suddenly, we were living it, even as we were seeing it through the aestheticizing lens of media memories.

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It’s only going to be really sad when I’m doing this at age 30 and I still have under $50 in my checking account… but being 25 gives you some serious leeway to be fiscally irresponsible and permanently hungry.

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I am a liar. We all are. And not the bad kind, really, but not the hilarious Jim Carrey kind, either. We just say things that generally aren’t true — and much more often than I think we’d like to admit.

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She concluded, without much deliberation, that he’s a bit of a megalomaniac. I recalled the lyrics to an Incubus song on the subject and concurred. She added: “He’s kind of a sociopath, too.”