The “almost relationship” that lasted for three years: Gnocchi with a shit ton of butter and herbs, paired with Bud Lite Lime because you’re ORIGINAL.
It wasn’t about being a good cook, but understanding what good food was.
I’d rather have a muffin top than to go on a awful date that makes me want to throw up. I’d rather gain a few pounds than be with someone who doesn’t love me in the same way. I’d rather eat alone in my apartment, then go through a really awkward and anxiety inducing date.
We love food. Honestly, eating is probably the highlight of our days.
The flood of memories that come shooting back when you eat food you loved as a kid is a giant, neuron-splattering head rush. You get transported back to the kitchen you grew up in and can practically see the avocado-green stove, three-hundred pound microwave, and plastic alphabet magnets covering the fridge. So come on, let’s all go back together now.
It’s the nutritional equivalent of the person you can make rude jokes with and bring home to your parents.
I would rather StairMaster for two hours than not eat this bowl of pasta and garlic knots.
I know this list is getting a little heavy on the “things with melted cheese on top of them” side, but frankly, that is the best genre of food we have.
15. Don’t drink coffee with a meal or they will think that you have been raised in a barn.
A lot of people think bow tie is the most formal pasta. They are dead wrong.