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“The extreme sex coupled with his love of shark week will make for an ocean romp he’ll NEVER forget!”

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I posted a photo on Instagram and was shocked to see that, within seconds, all my ex boyfriends had liked it.

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Maybe it’s not about catching them all. Maybe it’s about catching the one.

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TEEN DIES FROM HYPOTHERMIA AFTER WEARING SLEVELESS SHIRT ON A SUNNY BUT FREEZING SPRING DAY:

“he died doing what he loved. being a douche”

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“A good place to put inspirational quotes is up your ass.”

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“I am ready to be assaulted with flavor. Take me to the feeding chamber.”

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Giving a face and a voice to the Orcs living in New York.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about calling someone in, to get rid of the ghost. Then again, like I said, this ghost is not entirely mine to bust. In a small way, they’re just here, too. It’s like that punchline to that old Myron Cohen joke, “Everybody’s got to be someplace.”