“

In a world where there are a bazillion gorgeous bottle-blonde big boob babes, what makes her so different?

“

“A cute girl in my 4th grade class made my heart go pitter-patter.”

“

1. I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer. —Woody Allen 2. Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power. —Oscar Wilde 3. During sex I fantasize that I’m someone else.

“

In our pursuit of human degradation, we now have an endless amount of material to whet our sadistic appetites.

“

*Any player who says “That’s hot” while watching One Night In Paris must immediately consume three shots and then promptly go sit in a fucking corner.

“

And although Bob Saget isn’t an insult comic, I still get insulted when people call him a comic.

“

I too felt let down by Rihanna’s decision but I’m not surprised by it. In cases of domestic violence, the attacked often go back to their abusers and continue to stay with them for a long time, if not forever. Rihanna is just one of many battered women who have chosen to take back an abusive ex. She’s just gotten more attention for it because she’s a pop star with a giant platform.

“

The summers you would experience in high school. You were given three months to screw around with your friends. Sneak into movies, write in your diary, kiss in your childhood bedroom. Your only obligation was to read Animal Farm for Honors English and create a reading log (which, by the way, was super hard ).

“

We decided in that moment to have a tan-off: against each other, against the sorority girls, against the world at large. Like the Peaches song, we would tan the pain away. We just needed to figure out how to translate “tanning salon.”