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You may think that becoming smaller and smaller will make you more lovable, but you’re already lovable just as you are.

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While I’m all for accepting people as they are, I have a huge problem with individuals who are one hamburger away from a heart attack choosing to criticize my thinness.

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Growing up as an overweight kid definitely came with its disadvantages. My classmates would stare, giggle, and tease me because of my abnormal, lumpy physique, but it never seemed to irk me all that much.

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To those who want to shrink fat bodies – I hope you find another hobby someday.

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Alternative title: I’m the designated ugly fat friend.

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I hope this letter finds you in good health. Good health. The pink-cheeked, sound-mental-state, normal-blood-pressure kind of health.

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I’m one of those folks who has the “tendency.” Meaning that somewhere beneath this sleek façade of semi-chubbiness, there’s a true fatty waiting to let loose on the world, wobbles and all.

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We are all fat.

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Get ready.

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At my heaviest I was tipping the scales at nearly 300 pounds. I look back at pictures from high school and cringe, but I believe if it was not for the multiple humbling experiences that came with being fat I’d be a pretty shitty person and characterless.