“

There was something about doing it in “non-traditional” locations that seemed to really get my high school boyfriend’s gears turning. The shower? That was the Holy Grail.

“

Let’s watch people get hurt and learn German at the same time!

“

Her nails were long – like really long – and pointy, very very pointy. They looked like daggers – except fake daggers, press-on daggers…but daggers nonetheless.

“

I could watch this on loop.

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The lady at my salon, as she was painting my nails, once looked at me after a moment of contemplative silence and said, “We’re so lucky to be women. There are so many lovely things we can do, like spending the afternoon having our nails done with our friends. Men don’t have things like that.”

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You start off an innocent human being, casually walking around your house.

“

We should just stay in today.

“

Do not try this at home.