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Qualifications for this analysis: I am a brat. 1. You buy those Cokes with names on them. 2. Your cardigans are color-coordinated to the seasons. 3. You live in Jersey. 4. You chose to live in Jersey. 5.

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“Anybody can fold napkins!”

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I was in all ways a better and more interesting person when I was a little kid. There is one main difference between me as a kid and me now. As a kid, I followed through with shit. Did I want to learn about medieval history as a kid? Then by god, I read every single book ever about medieval history. Did I want to learn how to draw the Superman symbol? Then I would sit at our kitchen table and repetitively draw that symbol until my fingers bled.