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When it’s that time of month you have a specific type of hunger that NEEDS to be satisfied!

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1. You talk to yourself.

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Some eat to live, but those of us living to eat will take great pleasure in this compilation of things that are terrible and perfect for our heart all at the same time.

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I love eating very caloric, rich foods and I practically squeal with glee if I see the numbers on the scale climb. I like being called piggy, requested to oink and being accused of being gluttonous and lazy.

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3. Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries: 3/4 cup.

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If Jesus and Debbi Fields had a prodigy baker child, it would be responsible for creating these heavenly (get it?) morsels.

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After all, the cupcake is the iPod of cake—portable, fashionable, perfectly sized for the busy urban dweller who can’t be hauling a birthday cake everywhere in case an unexpected cake craving (ca-kraving) should strike.

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I guess it just annoys me when people talk about the fattening foods they eat and are like “I’M SUCH A FAT KID. I’M AN OBESE PERSON.” Because it’s like, hi, you’re not. You’re the opposite. Imagine if someone who was morbidly obese did tweet about their ice cream sundae and say something like, “I’m SUCH a fat kid.”