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If Amazon offered pap smears, I would be the first woman uploading pictures of my vagina and sending my genetic material in a pre-printed tube and box for analysis. If you could buy a car through Amazon with as much ease, I would happily buy my next car through Amazon.
You’ve formed a terrible habit of going online shopping when you’re blacked out. And for some reason, when you’re drunk, you always order two sizes too small, as if drunken you was convinced that you’d lose 15 pounds by Wednesday.