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“I saw the ‘white light’ but it was a white party in a big room on a beautiful day and as I was trying to walk to the doors something kept pulling my hand. When I looked it was a 6-8 year old beautiful little girl…”

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You can’t cure stupid.

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“Get called for an unconscious drunk at a bar. Get her out to the ambulance, she shouts ‘I’M HAVING A SEIZURE’ and starts waving her arms around. I tell her ‘people who have seizures generally don’t announce it first.’ Her response? ‘You’re being very judgmental, I was getting ready in case I had a seizure.'”