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You always hope you will feel better tomorrow, will have more energy tomorrow, will care more tomorrow — but you don’t actively do anything to make tomorrow any better than today.

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Feeling nothing is just as horrible as feeling too much. 

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She is either mentally or physically exhausted. She is either depressed or numb. She is either on the verge of breaking into tears or on the verge of screaming out her lungs. 

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What happens when your heart isn’t broken, but it doesn’t feel full either?

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“Mine was not being able to talk. Literally, I couldn’t voice any thought because depression made me believe my opinions didn’t matter. I forgot what my voice sounded like.” — Jane S.

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The opposite of butterflies
is the hive, dead in your stomach.

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The entire day, you’re tired. Not physically. Mentally. And that’s the worst kind of tired, because sleep doesn’t cure it. Even if you get a full eight hours, you still feel exhausted. Like you want to slip back into unconsciousness.

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I crave numbness like a drug. It scratches at me, somewhere deep in my mind. It whispers to me, a seductive mantra that finds me at my weakest point.

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I saw the world clearly, but it was older, more remote, and there was an unshakeable sadness that pervaded my thoughts.

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When I take Xanax, part of me is making a conscious choice to be numb, because the anxiety is too much.