“

Don’t try to convince me that you want to be “just friends” again. If it didn’t occur to you before, I’ll say it for you now: You and I were never really friends to begin with.

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Your poem makes me want to drink a glass of wine, smoke a
cigarette and reminisce. Oh, love, what a bitch you were.

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You must release your need to feel good enough to people you have deemed worthy of judging you.

“

I could start wearing more conservative clothes and lose some weight. These ten pounds I’ve gained while dating you are what’s coming between us. It’s totally fair. It was like false advertising. You got into a relationship with someone who’s thin and now I’m not so thin. How rude of me! You’re still fit and tan and sexy. I mean, I would love you still even if you weren’t, but I understand why you wouldn’t feel the same way. I’ll lose the weight and you’ll love me more. That’s final.