Comparing yourself to others is tough. There is always someone smarter. Someone richer. Someone with more Bumble dates than you. Social comparison is part of our human biology.
You have forgotten how we used to be. How happy we once were. You broke your promise of not letting me go.
You remember everything. It is both a blessing and a curse. It is both your gift and your kryptonite.
It makes me happy when I think of the good things… when I remember you.
If we were having coffee right now, even silence between us would be comfortable, I know it. When you notice the soft music wafting across the room, you start to rock your head to its tune, a hint of a smile playing on your lips. And I would probably smile, thankful for you—you who makes me believe “okay” is possible, even for me.
My hope is that, from time to time, you can pick up this letter and read it with Grandma, and remind yourself that you were — for one boy, at the very least — the most important thing in the world.
Nostalgia is a traitor. It manipulates you into thinking that things were more beautiful than they actually were. Do not believe it. Do not be deceived.
When you lose someone, you don’t just lose them once. You lose them every single day, you lose them slowly.
That’s also why, when we’re struggling to let go, the way forward is holding on even tighter.
You find yourself speculating what it would be like to be like the others. To move on without looking back, to listen to that particular song without tears streaming down your cheeks, to delete the photos of a time when everything was perfect in a heartbeat. You miss the ones who broke your heart.