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“No. This is not Hell. It’s not Heaven either. This is the Black Farm.”

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One day I awoke from an afternoon nap to the loud but sluggish groan of protesting metal.

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I get my best ideas when I am with you. Maybe if more people were with you, they would get more good ideas, too. I’m convinced that anyone worth his or her chops has at least one date with you per week. You encourage my crazy thoughts enough to make brilliant new ideas, but you also keep me in check when I might be getting a little too out there.

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College — like anything else in life — sucks sometimes. Brace yourself and prepare with a list of the 10 worst experiences you will face during college:

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Just before we started the experiment an intern took me grocery shopping. I was allowed to buy whatever I wanted except no caffeine.