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So from women everywhere. We don’t owe you anything. I don’t owe you my time, I don’t owe you a conversation, and I don’t owe you respect you’re not giving me.

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‘Twas the night of black out drinking and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring, you’re all still blacked out.

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First of all, it is not easy to get up on that stage.

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Don’t ever be apologetic for who you are and the mistakes you’ve made.

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Sagittarius: On the PROWL. You’re a flirtatious drunk and always looking for someone to make out with.

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Checking your Snapchat story for evidence of just how terrible you were.

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The only designer you know is Forever 21.

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When a woman tells you no, that is the end of the conversation. It does not continue. You don’t find a loophole or think it just means you’ve got to try a little harder.

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Red wine: You’re incredibly sensual. Like, you probably listen to Prince all day long in preparation for a date.

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As it usually happens in my relationships, I committed to you long before you committed to me. I packed up and moved my whole life to be with you. All my friends warned me against it, and against you. You have a reputation, you see: you lure people in with your bright lights and attractions.