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The Thought Catalog Times (Volume 01, Issue 01) is a Halloween treat from your friends at Thought Catalog Books.

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Rest in peace.

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Late nights. Early mornings. And not enough coffee in the world to keep you awake during that morning calc class. It’s a story most college newspaper editors know well but would never change.

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The New York Times is a printed newspaper, which is a thing people used to buy. At the top of every issue is their official slogan: “All the news that’s fit to print.” Emphasis on that last part.

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The Mushroom. Now you see them, the next day you don’t. And it may actually take a few more weeks before you see them again.

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3. Know what is going on in the world.

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I wasn’t sure whether to be angry that someone actually thought this was the real reason why more blacks weren’t adopting and the newspaper published it or to laugh at the fact that this person thought it was the true reason.

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There’s three types of freshman journalism majors: ones who want to be Carrie Bradshaw, ones who want to write for Rolling Stone, and ones who want to be Woodward and Bernstein. I was the last one.

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What are the actual odds that without opening Twitter first thing, I’ll somehow not find out about the zombie apocalypse until it’s too late? Don’t answer that. This is an actual reoccurring stress dream I have. I don’t want to know.

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11:25 AM: Leave home with aspirations of walking over the Williamsburg Bridge instead of taking the extremely convenient subway. Sure, it’s 35 degrees outside, but it’s sunny! And you’re out of shape! Time to get ambitious. 11:35 AM: It’s windy as hell, but you’re burning calories and your body is becoming a ball of confusion. Take off your jacket.