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Anyone can visit the City of Dreams but you, you’re not like those tourists.

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When choosing which neighborhood to live in, you should consider what places deliver to you, how far Trader Joe’s, a bar, and a laundromat are, if it’s safe to walk there alone at night, and how close to a subway you are (with hopefully with a short commute).

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Chances are, if you are walking slowly in Manhattan, you are a tourist.

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4. You have a better relationship with your Seamless delivery guy than you do with your family and closest friends.

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2. They have no patience for you.

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Never move to Murray Hill

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The Internet is flooded with pictures of cute puppies. But this is the only place you can get that same cuteness in text form.

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We’d seen this movie before; suddenly, we were living it, even as we were seeing it through the aestheticizing lens of media memories.

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It’s 420! Time to take mile-long walks into the woods, lock yourself up in the basement, climb into your treehouse, or go wherever the hell it is you have to hide out to smoke weed these days.

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Middlemarch has everything to offer a giant brain bent on feeding and fattening itself. But it’s also a fucking great book, in the plebian sense that implies: hot, life-sucking women! Powerful, shadowy men! There’s even drug addiction and gambling, and lessons about fashion.