“

I still have all of the notes my 5th grade classmates wrote before I left.

“

7. Your family is cursed.

“

Danish teacher here. A 1st grader came up to me, looked my straight in my eyes and said nothing for ten seconds. Then she spoke, telling me how she wished the “blood red pigeons from the lake would come to take her away.”

“

Making out with this dude is kosher, but once genitalia get involved, things turn nightmarishly flaccid, and suddenly you don’t know if he’s lying to himself or if you’re just too gross for him. I avoided this scenario by the skin of my teeth.

“

He seemed a little squeamish!