We are hyper-attuned – to everything. Changes in tone? Check. Micro-shifts in facial expressions? Noted. Gestures that contradict spoken words? Documented. We are emotional private investigators that are highly attuned to changes in our environment. We had to be in order to survive our childhood. Due to this, we are highly sensitive and intuitive to the needs of others, but we are also constantly on the lookout for what’s about to come.
A narcissistic mother who cannot empathize damages her children’s healthy psychological development. Like Narcissus in the Greek myth, she sees only a reflection of herself.
We forget to give ourselves permission to dislike someone, to address conflict, to confront issues, or even just to acknowledge when someone has reached epic levels of douchebaggery.
Have you ever been bullied or excluded by a group? Taunted by a narcissistic individual who enlisted the help of others to further undermine you? You may have been the victim of a narcissistic “conspiracy.”
You have been mercilessly violated, manipulated, lied to, ridiculed, demeaned and gaslighted into believing that you are imagining things. The person you thought you knew and the life you built together have been shattered into a million little fragments.
The children of narcissistic parents grow up in an invisible war zone and are programmed to self-destruct in these five devastating ways.
Falsehoods about parents always being loving and having our best interests at heart simply do not cut it when it comes to manipulative, toxic and abusive parents.
It’s tempting to create a narrative about a new partner and how they’ve come to save us, but we all know that sometimes the people dressed as our saviors turn out to be the very people we need to be saved from.
1. Apologizing more than they should. Anyone who has come out of one of these relationships is used to taking ownership of entire relationships. They are used to being at fault.
I mourned the fact that there will never be a possibility of us having a good relationship, no matter how badly I may want one. I accepted that there have been people and friends I have met along my journey that have been more help and guidance to me than my mom ever was or will be.