You are needed here. You are loved here. And once you’re in heaven, it’s going to feel like hell here.
It doesn’t matter how many years have passed, because I am always going to miss you with the same intensity. I am always going to hate how early you left this earth.
Grieving feels like being tangled up, suffocating, choking on your own emotions. It feels like a wave, a tsunami of unknown and uncertain. It feels like falling through space with nothing familiar to land on.
When you lose a cousin, you reevaluate your own life, your own mortality, because their age wasn’t that far off from yours.
It was in those moments of such despair that I learned about who I wanted to be rather than who I was.
Why would he be doing anything wrong, he said I was his #1 girl.
If you were still alive, I wouldn’t be as skeptical, as pessimistic. I wouldn’t push people away as soon as they got close out of fear of being abandoned.
Lately I’ve been reminded of the okayness of life. It’s okay for our friends to die. It’s okay for my mom to be gone. It’s okay that all this sometimes seems too big for my tiny human heart. It’s okay that I’m afraid.
I can’t love someone enough to make them want to stay.
I will not let sadness grow weeds in the space you have left behind