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He didn’t necessarily think that “fat” was a bad thing at all—it just looked different.

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I am navigating two worlds, and it’s new, and I don’t know what I’m doing, and as a result, I’m failing again and again. But I’m learning where my boundaries are, how and when I need to care for myself, and how massive an experience mothering is.

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No matter how far you go, no matter how old you are, just keep in mind that I will always be there. 

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My husband and I had the opportunity to reconnect and bond over the upcoming changes in our lives and reflect on how far we had come.

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As “career mothers,” we are often faced with the cost of sacrifice. Either sacrifice time with your children or sacrifice the opportunity to climb as high as possible on the corporate ladder with no distractions. Can we truly have it all?

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I had experienced a loss that was so profound, so beyond the scope of anything I was prepared to handle, and anger was my default emotion. I understood anger and I knew how to feel it.

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It’s wanting for something, while pushing it away, picking the wrong battles, wanting to fight but feeling frozen. Feeling so open, vulnerable and exposed that attempts to conceal these feelings are futile at best. It’s late nights, early mornings and confusion over which is which.

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We look alike, her eyes like mine, and I fear I’m just like her, because then that means I’d become what I’ve spent my whole life trying to escape.

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Remember, it took nine months to create your little human. So what if takes a bit longer to get back in shape?

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Even being half the woman you are would be a blessing.