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Monogamy and I have a complicated history, like most of us.

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In sum, all this hyper-awareness, overanalysis and incessant judgment basically leads to a big, revolving ball of metaphysical shit that really can dampen the mood at the dinner table.

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I want to make him laugh, so I start loudly ranting about how stupid Yu-Gi-Oh is. He’s laughing so I keep ranting even after I notice a skinny kid at the end of the aisle with his face buried in a Yu-Gi-Oh manga, shooting daggers at me with his eyes and sniffling.

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I don’t use public showers i.e. in gyms or swimming pools that require a membership and prefer not to piss openly in front of others (actually I can’t) so any penis ‘flashing’ my friends might have been subject to has been merely coincidental and unintentional and left unmentioned.