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Toward the end of their toxic marriage, Phil locked Ronnie inside their mansion for months. Ronnie finally escaped Phil’s mansion barefoot past guard dogs and bodyguards and into her mother’s safe arms.

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Please, please, please, come save us from ourselves D’s and I’s.

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By now almost everyone in the world has heard the news: Mitt Romney – if he was ever in – is now out of the 2016 Presidential race.

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I think it can be done, but I don’t think it will happen.

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This weekend is Father’s Day, and I’d like to give a shout out, to all the dads out there, yeah, but actually I’m thinking of one dad in particular: Mitt Romney.

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“It is hard to name even a single country that has more respect and admiration for America today than when President Obama took office, and now Russia is in Ukraine.”

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Look at how happy he looks.

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In 2008, I and millions of other self described Progressives cast our votes for Barrack Obama knowing that, despite the glut of “get disappointed by someone new” memes on the internet, this time would indeed be different.

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According to Mormon principles, sex is only to be had between a married man and a married woman. But if you can’t accept us with a D in our ass, you don’t really like us!

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Yes, it’s a real petition. And if it gets enough signatures, the White House is required to review it.