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What is it like working for All Square? All Square is packed for hours throughout my visit. While listening in on conversations at surrounding tables, I realize just how enthusiastic people are about the food, and especially the cheese.

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“One of the sinks started dripping, not flowing, but dripping blood. Slowly. Like a f*cking horror movie.”

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This is a poem for the duck in the water who thought I might have some bread.

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The first day it hits 40 degrees after a long, cold winter and you drive around with the windows down.

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Amateurs, everyone knows you celebrate St. Patty’s Day on the weekend.

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“It’s 15 milligrams. Adderall. We call this the body of Christ. The blood is alcohol.”

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Aren’t these people enlightened? Don’t they know that people of all ethnicities can dress like douchebags?

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Getting circled by Bert.

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When you’re in Duluth, it’s worth driving over to Superior, Wisconsin just so you can say you crossed the Dick Bong Bridge.

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The first day it’s really sunny out and you decide to go to Calhoun and there’s probably 500 other people there