“

“Called an Uber. Turns out her dad was the driver.”

“

“I really want somebody to amputate one of my limbs and make me eat it while I cry like a little bitch.”

“

“No one trusts me around their moms anymore (jokingly but a few are definitely serious, and they should be ’cause they got some hot, single moms).”

“

The overall societal sexualization of women, to me, is fascinating.

“

I really can’t care anymore because, according to my ma, I only have about 20 good years left in me.

“

Pizza boys, plumbers, pool boys, listen up!

“

I was raised by a single mom. A single, fiery lil’ Latina mom that all the boys wanted.

“

She was what society would label a cougar, MILF, or mature woman. But I didn’t give a fuck; I wanted her.

“

Pornhub released this pretty fascinating infographic based on the most popular search terms for each state.

“

I was 19 and tender. I’d just moved back to Orange County after a six-month stint in New York City, freshly broken up from my first girlfriend, who was six years older than me. We “clicked.” We could sit next to each other, mute and comfortable, for hours. We had amazing sex. But she had a career to start. I had freshmen orientation.