You know what I hear when someone mentions male pattern baldness? I hear, “TEARS, EXPENSIVE HAIR TREATMENTS, MY FUTURE.” Men love their hair almost as much as they love their dick. In fact, if you could just put a giant penis on top of their full head of hair, all males would be set for life.
Women can’t know anything about technology. Because of our tiny squirrel brains and the fact that we still rub two sticks together to make fire. Wait. How am I writing this article? I’m on a…computer? What’s that? What is this? WITCHCRAFT. WITCHCRAFT. BURN IT.