“

I don’t blame guys who don’t shave their bodies, I blame that pothead olympic swimmer who gave men with smooth appendages a bad name. I’m part of a generation where everyone with internet access has an opinion that they feel the need to shout from the rooftops of the Reddit offices.

“

Toe hair, yellow nails, ripped-up cuticles, callouses everywhere — these things are not acceptable for anyone. No one is saying that you should go to your nearest salon and get four coats of fluorescent magenta paint lacquered on, but basic foot maintenance is something everyone can enjoy.

“

When she came back in, I immediately made two things clear to her: 1. I’m gay and 2. I’m stoned on Vicodin. When she had heard that I took some painkillers in preparation for my wax, she started to laugh hysterically and talk about how much she loved Vicodin and what a good idea it was to take it. “NOW YOU WON’T FEEL A THING!” Thank God. She gets me!