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Channing, I realize I’m not your ideal candidate. My upper body strength is just okay, and I DEFINITELY can’t pick up a woman and swing her around like you guys do. But what I lack in muscle, I make up for in heart.

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This song describes someone moaning so loudly, they need to bite a pillow. Well, f*ck.

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You never know what’s going to happen when you’re singing at a gay club and ask for audience participation. Anything goes!

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Let’s all feel free to celebrate celebrities’ backsides together, or not at all.

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Do you like naked oily men? Do you want to be a naked oily man? Well, then this is the movie for you! Let’s be real, the waxing and bronzer budget for this movie was probably as big as Joe Manganiello’s dick.

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If you’re getting married, I’m getting wasted. Deal? And don’t judge me when I’m going back for fourths at the buffet, okay?

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Channing Tatum has been playing the hot high school jock/be-wifebeatered dancer for like ten years now — homeboy is 32 and still looks gorgeous hitting on some girl outside of chemistry class. The man is beautiful in such a delectably bro-y way, who is better for this film?

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Sometimes I wish I could be like a Hollywood franchise and just “reboot” my identity every five or six years and pick out some poor schlub walking the down street and be like, “Okay, from now, you’re me… and Go!” And it’d be like, okay, now you’re the guy with a $60 bank account who’s banned from the library. So, uhhh… good luck with that. Sucker.