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This song describes someone moaning so loudly, they need to bite a pillow. Well, f*ck.

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“Yo Ice, I did a concert in the White House/And after that me and Donald Trump hung out.” —Ice-T

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’15 Bonnie & Clyde

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Ludacris wants to do lots of sexual things with you, and I don’t think all of them are okay.

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“Red Light District” and “Blueberry Yum Yum” are all well and good, but where Ludacris really shines is in his ability to announce himself with a “Luduhhh!” and reel off into untold tongue-tying rhymes.

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Now that it’s nearly a decade in our rearview, we’ve begun to get a glimpse of what’s got longevity; namely, what songs are really good at encapsulating the weird time that was the mid-2000s.

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4. Share this article on a social network in the hopes that they’ll see it and recognize that it’s in regards to them.

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Do you think they’re open about their Jerry Springer past or do you think they try to keep things hush-hush?

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Because if you didn’t fall madly in love with your middle school/high school/college crush to this song or buy a black studded belt and immediately proclaim yourself as “emo” upon first listen, then you are either a dirty, filthy liar, a sociopath with no regard to human emotion, or too young/old for this song to be relevant. That’s it, hands down, no exceptions.

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If humanity had a family crest, do you know what would be on it? Pizza.