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You weren’t made for the screen you know, and neither was the broken skin where you cut yourself shaving and the almost-invisible hairs that paint the corners of your upper lip and that one crooked eyelash that bends at a 45-degree angle.

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When it comes to writing about the perspective of a group of people, it helps if you’re actually in it. So as man and one who has been on many first dates, I feel qualified.

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The sky is laced with turquoise worms, and where the sun normally is there’s two red lips, a parting mouth with clouds for teeth. Remy’s bed contains 24 stacked pillows that form a wall.

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Ignore that little voice at the back of your mind telling you that he doesn’t want to be saved.

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1. It turns out that if you feel like you can’t trust them but you snoop through their messages, you’re the untrustworthy one.

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You’re missing the one crucial ingredient to this recipe — and it’s not something you can just run out to the store and pick up.

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I bought some cocaine from a group of guys and spent most of the night deciding next day I would go out and buy some feminine flesh, show the world how this works and just plain don’t care of feelings.

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Once I hit the water I feel a rush, a rush of energy and excitement. My muscles scream to be challenged.

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5. When they hug you from behind they can rest their chin on your head and grab you, causing you to melt a little bit inside.

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I’m afraid that I’m not good enough, or fit enough, or that I don’t want people to see the side of me I’m ashamed of. So what is this fear?