You weren’t made for the screen you know, and neither was the broken skin where you cut yourself shaving and the almost-invisible hairs that paint the corners of your upper lip and that one crooked eyelash that bends at a 45-degree angle.

When it comes to writing about the perspective of a group of people, it helps if you’re actually in it. So as man and one who has been on many first dates, I feel qualified.

The sky is laced with turquoise worms, and where the sun normally is there’s two red lips, a parting mouth with clouds for teeth. Remy’s bed contains 24 stacked pillows that form a wall.

Ignore that little voice at the back of your mind telling you that he doesn’t want to be saved.

1. It turns out that if you feel like you can’t trust them but you snoop through their messages, you’re the untrustworthy one.

You’re missing the one crucial ingredient to this recipe — and it’s not something you can just run out to the store and pick up.

I bought some cocaine from a group of guys and spent most of the night deciding next day I would go out and buy some feminine flesh, show the world how this works and just plain don’t care of feelings.

Once I hit the water I feel a rush, a rush of energy and excitement. My muscles scream to be challenged.

5. When they hug you from behind they can rest their chin on your head and grab you, causing you to melt a little bit inside.

I’m afraid that I’m not good enough, or fit enough, or that I don’t want people to see the side of me I’m ashamed of. So what is this fear?